How We Do Family Councils: A Simple Way to Strengthen Our Family Connections

A few years ago, our kids were fighting non-stop, and we felt so frustrated. I turned to prayer for guidance, and the answer that came was clear: we needed family councils. Not demanding or strict meetings, but loving conversations where everyone could feel heard and seen.

We had already been using a visual calendar, but we needed something more intentional. Sundays became our time to sit down as a family, go over the week ahead, and share excitement, anxieties, and any needs. It became an opportunity for each person to feel supported and understood. We found a great foundation in Elder Ballard’s talk on family councils (you can read it here: Family Councils), and we loved how practical it was. In our search for more ideas, we also came across this helpful blog post on the questions we should be asking each other in our family councils: The Beginner’s Guide to Family Councils.

When we let family councils slide, we quickly notice more meltdowns—not just from the kids, but from all of us! 🥴 That’s when I realized how much we needed something to help make these meaningful conversations easier for others too, so I created Fern Family.

What is a Family Council?

A family council is a weekly meeting where we come together to discuss our plans, challenges, and emotions. It’s a time to listen to each other and offer support, ensuring everyone feels heard.

How We Run Our Family Councils

Here’s how we make it work:

1. Pick a Regular Time: We hold ours weekly, usually on Sundays.
2. Ask the Right Questions: Here are some questions we ask during our family councils:
   • Does anyone have a problem they’d like help solving?
   • How are chores going? How can we help each other?
   • What’s planned for the week? Any tests or events coming up?
   • What has someone done for you this week that you appreciated?
   • How can we pray for you?
3. Record Responses: We use a whiteboard to jot down answers, so we don’t forget what was discussed.
4. Encourage Participation: Everyone shares, regardless of age.
5. End with Gratitude: We always end with something we’re grateful for, keeping the focus on the positive.

Why Family Councils Matter

Family councils help us stay connected, solve problems as a team, and stay ahead of what’s coming up. When we skip them, we see more stress and meltdowns. It’s a simple practice, but it really works.

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